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Premarital Ministry

Merge

Merge FAQ

Check out these answers to some of our most frequently asked questions.

When did Merge start?

Watermark began offering marriage preparation for couples in 2000. The name of the ministry officially became "Merge" in 2010.

What's the meaning behind the name?

Merge helps couples explore what marriage really means in a safe and informative environment. Often for the first time, couples get to see the practicalities of merging together two very different lives. Two sets of expectations, now merging together. Two bank accounts, now merging together. Two pairs of inlaws, now merging together. The name Merge came about because that is what marriage is: the joining together of what was previously separate.

What does a typical session of Merge look like?

Typically, premarried couples arrive and sit at their assigned round table with their trained, mentor couple. Each session consists of a combination of large group teaching on topics such as communication, money, and intimacy, followed by small group discussion. A few times in the class we split into men and women for gender-specific teaching and conversation.

What are the differences between the 8-week Merge class and the weekend Merge class?

The 8-week class is our preferred option. It provides weekly accountability and allows more time for discussion and relationship buildling with other couples. Merge covers topics such as communication, conflict, finances, sexual intimacy, in-laws, and expectations.

The Merge weekend class is specifically designed for couples who cannot attend the 8-week class. The weekend version is for couples who either live out of town, consistently travel for work, or have other related conflicts.

How can I start Merge at my church?

First, read the Merge Launch Guide. If you have a question not covered by the Launch Guide, please email us or get in contact below!

GET TO KNOW MERGE:

How are churches using the Merge ministry and curriculum?
There are five options for formatting Merge:

  1. Large group class: Being eight weeks long, the traditional Merge format meets at tables of 2-4 couples, each table having a mentor couple. Teaching occurs as a large group and then tables divide up to discuss. This is the ideal design and aimed at groups with more than 10 couples.
  2. Weekend class: The goal for the weekend class is to fit much as you can in a given Friday night and Saturday. This is designed for couples where one or both of them live out of town. Typically, churches will use this format for the initial attempt at Merge as it is easier to pull off. Weekend class is seen to be not quite as effective, as it has less opportunity for couples to process curriculum and do homework over time.
  3. Small group class: Designed for groups of 3-10 couples, the content here is still eight weeks worth of work. Groups meet in a mentor couple's home, as leaders would then either teach material themselves or assign audio teaching for homework.
  4. Two-on-two: The smallest option, one couple is led through curriculum by a pastor or lay leader couple. They would still meet for eight weeks. Typically, couples listen to audio teachings for homework and then meet in person to discuss the homework with the pastor or lay leader.
  5. Combine with re|engage: Participating couples will go to a re|engage Large Group, then break off into a Merge specific small group to discuss Merge curriculum.

What do you mean by "seriously dating”?
Seriously dating couples are those moving towards engagement. Seriously dating couples tend to be more open handed and are more willing to discuss hard questions before they spend money on a ring or start wedding planning.

Where do you find leaders?
Great Merge leaders are all around you. Look for couples who love Jesus, love each other, care about the design and institution of marriage, and are willing to have hard conversations. When you see consistency in their faithfulness and willingness to step into conflict, you may have found a new leader. Don’t use just anyone to fill a need. A Merge ministry will rise and fall on the quality of its leaders. Typically, couples should be married 2+ years before leading Merge.

How do you train leaders?
There is typically 2.5 hours of initial training. We also provide a weekly leader meeting before every Merge class where leaders can connect, ask questions, share best practices, and recieve additional training. Leaders also receive an equipping email each week. Leaders are encouraged to reach out to Merge leadership if they have questions.

What are the differences between the Watermark version of the Merge curriculum and the generic, or non-Watermark, version of the curriculum?
99% of the curriculum is exaclty the same. The generic version does not have Watermark’s Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage Statement. This is referred to and a link is provided, but the actual text of the Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage Statement is not included. Also, it will not refer to Watermark specific ministries. Both versions still include links to sermons by a variety of pastors.

Do couples need to register in advance?
Typically yes. Pre-registration allows for the small groups to be assigned based on age, life-stage, and couple demographics.

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