Step 8 - Forgive

We forgive those who have harmed us and become willing to make amends to those we have harmed.

Foundation 8

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.” (Ephesians 4:32-5:1)

Key Theme

We forgive others because God forgave us through Christ.

Remember

Forgiveness is a decision to obey God, give him our hurts, and trust him to repay the debt of sin against us.

Things to Remember

• Forgiveness is a decision to obey God, give him our hurts, and trust him to repay the debt of sin against us.
• Unforgiveness can keep us weighed down by our own demands for justice.
• Forgiveness gives God the power to demand justice for the sins against us.
• Forgiveness can leave us feeling vulnerable (if we’ve trusted sin’s power more than God).
• God doesn’t need forgiveness. He is perfect and holy.
• You cannot forgive yourself. Feeling “unforgivable” creates shame in our lives. Shame is a symptom of pride or misplaced identity—we can’t forgive ourselves. But God declares us forgiven in Christ.

Key Questions

As you review the lesson, ask God which questions to focus on for the lesson. Some possibilities are:

• Day 2, Q4: If you’ve trusted Christ’s suffering as satisfaction for your sins, do you think you could also trust Christ’s suffering as satisfaction for the sins against you? What difficulties, fears, or concerns does this bring up for you?
• Day 4, Q1: How does the list (on p. 53) clarify your understanding of biblical forgiveness?

Encouragement for Participants

• Remember, through Christ’s sacrifice you are forgiven for all of your sins! In God’s eyes you are clean, righteous, adopted, loved, reconciled, and made new. Accept his view of the truth about you.
• Don’t hold yourself in prison for what Christ has already died for. Accept his forgiveness.
• Christ’s suffering is enough for ALL sin—even for sins against you. For those without Christ, God’s vengeance for sin is a holy wrath; his justice is perfect.
• Forgiving others is a transaction between you and God alone. It doesn’t involve the other person.
• You can be free of the burden of others’ sins no matter how they respond to you or to God. You can forgive someone who is dead.
• Forgiveness frees you to love others despite their sin.

Encouragement for the Leaders

• Understand the difference between forgiveness, amends and reconciliation.
  • Forgiveness - transferring justice to God for another’s harm against you, it's between you and God, releasing another from your debt.
  • Amends – repairing my sin’s damage to another, one-way toward another person.
  • Reconciliation - agreeing with each other that debts are settled between both parties.
• Forgiveness is not: excusing sin, freeing the guilty, denying your hurt, a feeling, conditional, forgetting, trust, or reconciliation.
• We can’t forgive ourselves; we need to embrace God’s forgiveness of us. We are sinful and capable of great harm to him and others.
• You are free in Christ. How are you doing with shame? Have you accepted who you are in Christ?
• Through Christ, we have been forgiven much! Praise God for his lavish grace through Christ!
• Be ready to share a story of how forgiveness freed you to love someone who hurt you.