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Marriage Enrichment

Re|engage

Lesson 13: Spiritual Intimacy Leader's Guide

KEY CONCEPT

Grow in Christ together.

The goal of this lesson is to help couples see that the marriage relationship is different than any other human relationship. The two have become one. As a result, each spouse plays a unique role in the spiritual growth of the other and this lesson will provide practical ideas for how to do that.

QUESTION HIGHLIGHTS

  • Q1: The goal of this question is to help participants see that you really can encourage each other spiritually. Common examples might be:

    - When my husband started memorizing scripture, I could tell it made a difference in how he responded to me. I began to ask God what he could change in me.

    - My wife felt God was telling her to share her faith more, so at a restaurant she asked a waitress how we could pray for her. The waitress cried and shared something heavy. I’m now asking God to show me where I need to share my faith.

    - Note: If someone struggled to identify a change in their spouse’s relationship with God, remind them that being invested in re|engage through lesson 13 is worthy of acknowledgement.

  • Q2: Even couples who are individually strong in their spiritual disciplines might struggle to do them together. This is a great question to challenge those couples to take a small step by simply sharing what they’re learning.

  • Q3: Almost universally couples will feel inadequate in their prayer lives together. This lesson is a great time for couples to hit reset and take baby steps forward.

    - Appendix F has some practical ideas so make sure participants see it.

    - Share where your prayer life as a couple started and where it is today.

  • Q4: While many sins were likely addressed through the peacemaking lessons (6-8), or even more recently in lesson 11, be prepared for some hidden sins to be revealed. Often a few more weeks in the group has given a participant the trust they need to share.

    - Be prepared to share an example of where you confronted sin in each other.

    - The sentence “it is more important for your spouse to be at peace with God than with you” can be an eye-opener for some. If our relationship with Christ is the most important thing in our lives, it follows that this statement is true. In practice, however, we find it difficult to confront sin in our spouse in a loving, constructive way.

  • Q5: This is a great question for encouragement as participants share how their spouse supported them. As couples share it will also provide many practical examples that others can adopt. It also helps couples see the variety of tools at their disposal.

REMINDERS

  • The metaphor of the full-length mirror sticks with people long after re|engage is over. Take a moment to ask couples how it resonated with them.

  • Don’t miss an opportunity to discuss The Truth About Marriage. It tackles a frequently asked question.

  • It is possible that not everyone in your group knows Christ. To pray to a God you don’t know or talk about “experiencing him” might seem crazy to some. Create safety for everyone so they can answer according to where they are in their spiritual journey.

  • So many couples see their spiritual lives as individual journeys. Reinforce that this is a journey together!

DID YOU KNOW?

The vast majority of leaders in re|engage came through first as participants. After experiencing the goodness of what God offers in a marriage that glorifies him, couples want to pay it forward. The future leaders of your re|engage ministry are sitting in your group right now. Ask God to show you who they are, and inform your leadership team so these couples can be invited to join the team!