Lesson 14: Invest Leader's Guide

KEY CONCEPT

Continue to invest daily in your relationship with Christ and your marriage.

It is natural to desire rest after a season of hard work. Couples will feel that desire as the group finishes. You can affirm what they are feeling, but the goal of this lesson is to remind them that if they do not put into practice the things they have learned, they will drift back to the marriage they had before re|engage began. They must make an on-going investment to strengthen their relationship with God and to build the marriage God desires for them.

QUESTION HIGHLIGHTS

• Q1 & Q2: Celebrate both the big and small things. It is great for each participant to practice affirming their spouse, and some participants need practice receiving praise and simply saying “Thank you".

• Q5: The single biggest factor in whether couples continue the momentum established in re|engage is whether they jump into on-going, authentic relationships with other couples. Hopefully in past weeks you were discussing what comes next for each couple, so this question is a way to tie a bow on it.

  - Some couples will be fearful that the group is ending. Perhaps for the first time in their lives they’ve seen what true biblical community looks like. The group might propose that they stay together and ask you to stay with them. Be prepared for how you will respond. Normally leaders step out of a group once it finishes. If you decide to continue, make sure you have both bandwidth and energy, and set a time limit on how long you will continue.

• Action Item 5: This action item is often the highlight of the night. You will be amazed at what people share and the lift it gives participants. To maximize its effectiveness, text your group ahead of time and tell them to prepare some thoughts on every participant.

REMINDERS

• Continually point back to Christ. Remind them that any growth they have seen came from the Lord (1 Corinthians 3:5-9). The re|engage curriculum was helpful, the group was awesome, the leaders were committed, but they are not “the thing” that brought about change in your marriage.

• A word used throughout this lesson is practice. It is reinforced in The Truth About Marriage. Remind couples that this implies continual work and nobody is exempt.

  - Couples who were in a bad place before re|engage but have seen significant growth are in a particularly vulnerable place. Because the pain has stopped they are feeling much better, but remind them that now is the time they need to commit to on-going investment.

• Don’t be surprised if couples wing it this week, in other words, have nothing written down in their workbook. Affirm them for sticking it out to the end!

• Be creative and have fun with the way you end the group. Some ideas:

  - Bring each couple a gift (e.g., group photo, Christmas ornament, knickknack that reflects an inside joke).
  - Serve snacks!
  - Pray an appropriate blessing (e.g., Romans 15:5-6) over the group as you release them.
  - Have couples turn their chairs facing their spouse, they hold hands, and take turn saying, "I love you." Waterworks!

• Well done, good and faithful servants! It is no small feat to shepherd a re|engage Group. Thank you for your faithful obedience in partnering to make disciples through marriage and re|engage. Be sure to give yourselves space and/or time to be refreshed. Hopefully, you too fell more in love with Jesus and your spouse as you pursued oneness weekly!

DID YOU KNOW?

Many churches start re|engage because of a couple that goes through re|engage at a different church, then returns to their home church and encourages leadership to start re|engage. If you have couples from other churches in your group, point them to the Congratulations page after Lesson 14 so that they can reach out to the re|engage national team!