Lesson 3: Grace Leader's Guide

KEY CONCEPT

Receive God’s grace in order to extend God’s grace.

The goal of this lesson is to help participants see that the only way they can have the marriage that God wants for them is to receive God’s grace. Once you have tasted and seen that the Lord is good, his love compels you to extend that grace to your spouse. Too many couples have a warped view of God’s love, that they must somehow earn his favor, and then they apply that works-based thinking to their marriage.

QUESTION HIGHLIGHTS

• Q1: For spouses already operating with grace-based thinking in their marriage, they might struggle to have a good answer. Encourage them to go back in time and share how they have changed. For you as a leader, be prepared to share a personal example to help couples better understand how works-based thinking infects a marriage.

• Q2: If someone shares that they prayed the Prayer of Salvation, celebrate appropriately and follow-up promptly!

• Q3: This question is another opportunity to learn about a participant’s past experiences and family of origin, both of which strongly influence one’s ability to receive and give grace.

• Q4: This question can bring out a couple of things:

  - This is an opportunity to build some positive energy for couples. For most, it was a positive experience when grace was offered by their spouse. Plus, it will help everyone to learn from positive examples!

  - For spouses not operating in a grace-based mindset this might be a difficult question. Hearing a spouse say they can’t recall a time when you were gracious is at least eye-opening and potentially very hurtful. Help such couples find even something small they can celebrate.

• Q5: This is a good place to camp out. It allows participants to draw a circle around themselves. Don’t let people get away with sharing about their spouse!

• Action Item 3: If someone expresses an interest in discussing further, by all means do it quickly but also make time outside of group to further unpack and process hindrances shared.

REMINDERS

• The entire reason we are doing re|engage is to introduce participants to the Gospel; first for their personal salvation and secondly to apply it to their marriage. It is the expectation of every re|engage leader that you clearly articulate the Gospel to all members of your group and understand where they stand spiritually. This lesson is a lay-up for initiating conversations.

  - Appendix B has a clear explanation of the Gospel. When meeting with participants outside group, also consider using the bridge illustration.

• Help couples connect this lesson with the previous lesson (Brokenness). Lesson 2 was basically the problem statement (we are broken and unable to truly love) and Lesson 3 is the answer (grace deals with our sin and reconciles us to God).

• You as leaders must look for ways to exhibit grace in how you respond to and interact with participants. This is how couples will tangibly understand Romans 2:4 (it is God’s kindness that leads us to repentance).

• Be on the lookout for participants who are not doing the homework. Glance at everyone’s book to see if there is writing in it, then after group gently speak to those with blank pages.

DID YOU KNOW?

The questions that small group leaders most commonly ask their leadership are answered in the Frequently Asked Questions, which can be found on the website under Leader Resources.

For example, at this stage in your group you might see a couple start to struggle with consistent attendance. What do you say to them? This FAQ might be helpful: “If a Closed Group couple's attendance has been inconsistent, when is it appropriate to approach them about their level of commitment?”