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Marriage Enrichment

Re|engage

Lesson 9: Commitment Leader's Guide

KEY CONCEPT

Keep your covenant to your spouse as God has kept his covenant with you.

The goal of this lesson is to help couples understand what covenant-based love looks like, contrasting it with the contract-type love that our culture embraces. Couples should evaluate if they are all-in with their marriage covenant and be challenged to close every door of escape.

QUESTION HIGHLIGHTS

  • Q3: The image of “locking the doors” sticks with many participants long after re|engage is over, so spend some time on this question. Remind them that these doors are a temporary solution that is trying to fill the long-term need that only Christ can fill. For those who would say they have locked all the doors, ask them:

    - What doors have been open in the past?
    - Which door is the enemy most likely to tempt you to unlock?

  • Action Item 2: For spouses with divorce and remarriage in their story, Mark 10:11-12 may trigger some questions. This FAQ might be helpful: How should you counsel spouses that have divorce and remarriage in their story?

  • Action Item 3: This action item is a great opportunity to practically understand where each person is with regards to community. Many people have no one they can ask this question and will have nothing written down, so it may be necessary to do the action item as a group. Below are a couple of options but, regardless of how you do it, hold participants accountable to doing this action item.

    - Divide the group into guys & gals for a time. Do the action item by allowing everyone to speak into each participant in succession. This models community and fleshes out Proverbs 27:5-6 and 27:17. You should be prepared to lead out and share your observations about each participant.

    - If you want to keep guys & gals together, assign an accountability partner to each participant and ask them to connect in the coming week. Require them to report back next week what they shared with each other.

REMINDERS

  • For many couples, this lesson will feel like a relief after the peacemaking lessons of the past few weeks. While the lesson is not as dense as the previous three, don’t let your group miss the gravity of this topic. Research shows that couples who are fully committed to each other will make it regardless of the state of their marriage.

  • Set the table for the discussion by talking through the doors that were once open for the couple in the Large Group testimony that night.

  • In the Commitment in Action section, the example of “not becoming close friends with anyone of the opposite sex” can bring up some pointed conversation, especially in the context of the workplace. Be prepared to support why you believe this is true, and have some examples of how you have navigated life as a result.

  • Use every opportunity to reinforce the truths from previous lessons in the context of this lesson. Some natural connections for this week:

    - Reminder back to Lesson 1 that God moved towards us (Romans 5:8) and nothing can separate us from his love. This is what a committed marriage looks like.

    - Reminder back to Lesson 3 that committed couples operate under the premise of a grace-based marriage and do not keep score.

DID YOU KNOW?

The Prayer of the Week is included at the end of each lesson to model for participants how to pray for your marriage, and to remind them that prayers do not need to be wordy or lengthy. Some leaders close the group each week by calling on a participant to pray the Prayer of the Week.